Time for Change
Many people suffer from a condition that they label as anxiety. They complain about it. Stuff it down. Ignore it. Some escape and medicate it with alcohol, drugs, pharmaceuticals, sex, any excess to try to move away from discomfort and toward pleasure. There is another way. Let’s dissect the situation.
In my (Mark’s) years of coaching I've noticed there is a direct correlation of the amount of times the word "not” is spoken to the severity of the individual's anxiety. The greater the amount of nots the higher their anxiety.
A Stanford University study revealed that complaining physically damages the neurons in the brain. This damage occurs whether you are speaking a complaint or passively listening to them. Yes, surrounding yourself with complainers does impact you. This damage becomes cumulative, and the more a person complains the more they tune themselves to see things to complain about. More complaints results in greater anxiety, and it probably started a long while ago.
The not perspective / persona develops in a child when they experience a trauma. The trauma can be something as benign as a stern look or tone of voice in a sensitive moment to physical, emotional or sexual abuse. As the trauma is taking place, and also is reflected on, the individual surrounds the trauma with a bunch of not statements to distance themselves from what’s going on, to protect themselves and express the emotion that they’ve been holding from it.
They can also blame themselves. When they blame outwardly, anger and resentment occur, and when they blame themselves, shame and guilt also emerge. The longer a pattern is in place the greater the shame, blame, guilt and hate a person holds in their body. These chemicals poison the brain and body of the individual and build a wall between them and reality.
The Encompass Life Team